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The Sound Guy Sounds Off: Celebrity Poker Blowoff
Published: 2005-11-16
By Jerrod "The Sound Guy" Kingery
SpursZONE.com
When you consider all of the stuff that floats by on the river of popular culture, finding out what sticks in the public consciousness and what ends up meandering on downstream, collecting at the base of a dam somewhere for the pop culture beavers to build their homes with, is pretty fascinating. For every iPod in the world, there is a whole pile of Tiger Hit Clips players infested with semi-aquatic rodents. Why does one thing hit big while something fundamentally similar get passed over? How does society as a collective make these decisions?
That might’ve been a little too deep, so I’ll simplify it by getting to the point. Here’s my real question: what’s the deal with poker and why is it so popular? And have you people lost your minds?
Now, don’t get me wrong…I enjoy playing poker. In fact, I like card games in general (except collectible card games…I’m not a nerd), even though I can’t shuffle to save my life. I like sitting around a table with a bunch of people, shooting the breeze, and tossing those nifty clay chips around like I’m in a casino in Vegas instead of someone’s dining room. Plus, the game itself is a nice little diversion that, if you are lucky, maybe you could win some money playing.
Let me stop here for a minute: the keyword in that last sentence is lucky. Yes, I’m throwing the gauntlet down: the majority of success in poker is due to that mythical beast known simply as luck. I know…I’ve played the game.
I can hear the screams already.
“Skill!” you say. “It takes a mastery of skills to be a truly great poker player. Why, I myself have been honing my poker craft for years now! I’ve read all of the books by [insert name of fat, smelly professional poker player here] and I’ve got all of his strategies down pat! I even bought some cool sunglasses to wear at the table so as to menace my opponents! Look at [insert name of another fat, smelly professional poker player here]! He’s been playing for [insert amount of years here] and has won [insert amount of dollars here] and is considered to be the top competitor in [some sort of random poker federation nonsense].” For Pete’s sake, stop! It’s just sad, talking like that. It really is.
(Look, I ticked off a bunch of soccer fans earlier this year and lived to tell about it, so I’m not afraid to speak my mind about poker…bring it on.)
Let’s get a few things straight about poker in general, as I see them:
1. There are two skills involved in successful poker playing, and one of them is the ability to count. The other is the basic ability to recall things from memory so that you can remember the rules of the game you are playing, and even this skill isn’t totally necessary since you can simply ask someone else at the table what’s going on if you get lost, or drunk. The only activities that involve any sort of expertise with playing cards are building houses of cards and learning to throw them across the room in order to pierce a watermelon rind.
2. Any activity you can smoke, drink, or eat during and not have it affect your performance is not a sport, it’s a game. Poker is a game. Please get it off of ESPN and get the accessories out of sporting goods stores. Or at least give Connect Four equal time. Your choice.
3. Sunglasses indoors are never cool. Ever.
4. Once an actor wins an actual big poker tournament, like Jennifer Tilly did, the mystique is officially shattered. What other “sport” could this happen in? Master P couldn’t break into the NBA, no matter how hard he tried, even with the Hornets. Local legend CyberBob Gambert tried to tell me one of the reasons for Tilly’s success is that her boyfriend is Phil “The Unabomber” Laak, another world-renowned poker player (and, judging by his attire, world-renowned jackass as well…go find a picture of him and tell me 5 minutes with this guy wouldn’t have you at his throat). “The Unabomber” taught her what he knows, Bob attests, leaving me to wonder when Eva Longoria would enter the WNBA with a decent floater in the lane. But I digress…
Everyone’s got those friends and coworkers that are so authoritative on a subject that its borderline obsessive. Around my workplace we have a few poker aficionados, none more high-profile that WOAI.com’s very own Vegas Insider, Dale Blasingame.
For Dale, I think, poker is a sort of polytheistic religion, and its deities, resplendent in their windbreakers and cowboy hats, gather around a green felt-covered table, doling out parables with every flop, turn, and river. And Dale is a master theologian of Poker, a missionary for the cause attempting to convert everyone he meets. So, in the interest of fairness, I decided to get Dale’s take* on just why people are so damned crazy about poker, why it’s taken so seriously, and what’s up with its weirdo superstars.
Me: What’s up, Dale?
Dale: (Flipping a pen in his hand) POKER!
Me: All right. See ya.
I’m starting a new trend: hyper-competitive Monopoly. Games will be run the same way as today’s Texas Hold ‘Em games are. One guy invites a whole bunch of other guys over, only they all gather around a Monopoly board instead of a card table. Real money is paid in, and each player is given his Monopoly money by the banker, but now instead of being called a banker, he’s called Pennybags, and whenever he gives out the $200 to players when they pass “Go,” he has to yell “Payday!” to all of the other players at the table, only the money is called “the billfold” and…boy, this is getting away from me fast.
Ah, forget it. Just deal me in.
Jerrod Kingery is probably uninvited to every poker game in town from here on out. Email him an invitation here: jerrodkingery@woai.com
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Poker in Carson City - the Nevada State Capitol
Published: 2005-11-14
 by Byron Liggett filed under Card Room's
Carson City, the capitol of Nevada, was named after Christopher "Kit" Carson, famous frontiersman and scout in the 1840s. When gold and silver was discovered around Virginia City, in the mountains high above the capitol, Carson City became a freight center for the mines and miners. Poker has been a popular pastime in the state capitol ever since.
Draw Poker was a popular pastime in the towns and mining camps of the West. One player who came to Nevada to strike it rich as a prospector, but ended up writing for the Territorial Enterprise to make ends meet, was Mark Twain. He loved the game.
Today, Mark Twain is gone and so, too, may be Draw Poker. Nevertheless, Hold'em Poker is alive and well in Carson City.
The RED DOG Poker Palace recently opened in the Pinon Plaza Resort in east Carson, on Hwy. 50. It's the classic small, neighborhood poker room. The staff is hometown friendly, the games are socially friendly, and the limits are low 'n friendly.
At Red Dog most of the players are local mutts. It's popular with Carson City's poker pack when they want to scratch an itch and sniff some flops.
The Red Dog Poker Palace is in very good hands. Kennel Keeper Marie Gabert is one of the most decorated pooches in poker. She's been a World Champ and has taken "Best All Round Player" four times!
A pure poker pedigree, Marie is a star of "Poker Beat", a new weekly show that just premiered on cable TV coast-to-coast. So, the next time you're in heat for Hold'em, see Marie; she'll put you in a game and sell you some kibbles 'n bits.
If your fantasy is to get lost on a tropical island where you compete for treasure, Carson City has you covered. The CASINO FANDANGO is a hot 'n sexy escape. If you can't have fun here, you're dead. The Fandango is Margaritaville with poker. The poker room is a quite, comfortable, spacious sanctuary. The tables are large, the lighting is right; the chairs are plush and adjustable. If Jimmy Buffet played poker here he'd have to write a song, because this is the perfect place "to open a pop top and blow out your flip flop". Like a beach bathing beauty knows her tan line, Poker Manager Victor Kurlytis understands what poker players want - Action! He makes sure there's plenty of it on tap.
Every Monday and Thursday at 7pm he kicks-off a smash-mouth $60+5 No Limit Hold'em contest. Tuesdays at 2pm, it's the same game with a $40+5 buyin. Sunday, the Sabbath, features $25+5 No Limit Holy Hold'em. Services are start at 11am. "Come and prey... or be preyed upon," Reverend Victor says with a big grin. Of course, there's plenty of live action too. And, when you get hungry, there's the "Rum Jungle Buffet". They say the food is so good some people go into the Jungle and never return!
The CARSON VALLEY INN, just minutes from the Capitol, is famous for its fine food, exquisite rooms, and spectacular views. This year, a poker room was added and they found an experienced manager, Rick Allegrini, to run it. He's well known to players throughout northern Nevada.
Ranger Rick runs $15, one-hour Hold'em shootouts daily. Tuesday and Thursday evenings at 6pm he spreads $25 buyin Hold'em competitions.
Clearly, poker is alive and well in Carson City.
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